The Version of You Built For This
Nikki A Nikki A

The Version of You Built For This

When life falls apart, strength does not always look like pushing forward. Sometimes it looks like stillness, reflection, and learning to imagine a different future before you know how to reach it. This piece is about burnout, survival, and the quiet beginning of reinvention.

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Rest is Not Quitting and it’s Not Failure, Either!
Nikki A Nikki A

Rest is Not Quitting and it’s Not Failure, Either!

It’s ok to feel sad and disappointed. Try to allow yourself to go through it. Part of that is allowing yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and not suppress, avoid, or diminish how you’re feeling. Sometimes, it’s ok to allow yourself to feel the feelings and feel like crap. I think it’s healthy. It helps you learn how to process and cope. It helps you get from one state to the next.

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The fire within: When rage becomes fuel
Nikki A Nikki A

The fire within: When rage becomes fuel

Here I am sharing my journey. Trying to document the moments I feel strong to help guide me through the moments when I feel weak and hoping to help others too; and here I am, telling you that the thing that drives me is none other than a searing, intense, unfathomable rage.

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Everyone’s Selling Something…
Nikki A Nikki A

Everyone’s Selling Something…

I can almost remember the exact moment I realized that grown-ups didn’t have all the answers. It hit me like a punch to the gut. I was about 14 or 15 when I had the epiphany. I had felt it from a much younger age, perhaps more in revolt than in true realization.

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Chasing Light in the Storm
Powering Through Nikki A Powering Through Nikki A

Chasing Light in the Storm

Sometimes dreams for me are messages. Things that need further investigation. An alert from my subconscious. Freud thought dreams were a form of repressed wishes, fantasies that we explore in our sleep that we aren’t able to realize in our waking life. An enigma. Some secret or hidden imagery needing dissection and unraveling to explore our true desires. Jung’s view was that dreams are essentially a mechanism that helps bring the various aspects of our conscious and subconscious into union to have a conversation.

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Rising From Ash
Nikki A Nikki A

Rising From Ash

It's in the solitude that I have found my resolve. That I have faced my fears. That I have made decisions about what I will and will not tolerate. I have suffered many dark nights of the soul. I have “died” so many times. I have broken all my bones and reset them. I have burned to ash and I have risen. Time and again, and I will continue to do so over and over. Because each time I face the new demons that took the place of the ones I have slayed, each time I break my bones, each time I melt away, I burn myself to ash – I am tempered and I am re-born. Each version of me better than the one before; the same and somehow changed forever.

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The Winding Path
Nikki A Nikki A

The Winding Path

Healing, in my opinion, is more undular and random in nature and it can regress completely if you’re not careful. I also think it’s more cyclical in nature than linear.

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Welcome
Nikki A Nikki A

Welcome

I haven’t a clue what I’m doing, but I have to start somewhere. I believe in taking action and refining as I go. Here I am flaws and all stumbling my way forward as best I can and refining myself and my craft as I go along.

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