High-Value? A Flawed Concept…

Why are we talking about people like they’re products? High-value this, high-value that.

I think that health and wellness should be approached from a holistic sense: mind, emotional, physical, and spiritual. It’s all connected. For optimal well-being, everything needs to be in balance. When one area is lacking, the others suffer or are forced to compensate. It takes greater effort to function. If the imbalance goes unchecked, something eventually gives. The whole system can shut down.

An injury can appear healed on the surface long before it’s healed internally. Once it fully heals, it is at greater risk for re-injury, and it’s weaker than before. That’s how I see any type of hurt or damage. Emotional or mental. If you had a break in your foundation or didn’t have a solid foundation to start with, and you’re now on a journey to work on yourself and mend that foundation, you need to realize this is a lifelong commitment to your health and well-being. It needs maintenance.

If you’re starting practically from the ground up, where you have no self-esteem, don’t like yourself, and don’t see any worth or value in yourself, then thinking in terms of value is a natural first step in starting to feel deserving.

I recently had a conversation with someone, and I’ve been coming across all kinds of social media posts about high-value men and women. What they are. What they aren’t. How to land one. Blah, blah, blah. But why are we even speaking and thinking that way? It’s a by-product of our consumeristic society. People are not commodities, and we should stop referring to ourselves and others that way.

Make peace with yourself and your demons. Find out who you really are and what you actually like.

Do things that scare you. Get uncomfortable as often as possible. Evaluate your priorities. Make time for yourself. Search your soul.

Think about what’s really important to you. What kind of life do you have now? What kind of life do you want?

What would you regret if you were lying on your deathbed? Things you didn’t say, do, or feel?

And when you think about sharing your life with someone, what qualities should they have? What is their character like?

Then go out and try new things. Talk to people. Make friends. Get closer to the ones you already have. Strengthen your bond with your family.

When you’re ready to date, try to have an open heart. Be discerning, of course, but trust your gut.

And I say all this because I think of my family. I’ve seen people who had comfort and lost everything. Relationships were tested by incredible circumstances. Illness. Loss of possessions and money. Moving countries. Starting over. Being separated by distance. A myriad of other challenges.

Don’t go for someone because they’re wealthy or have an impressive job. Go for someone who is hardworking, resilient, and resourceful.

Don’t go for someone because they’re attractive. Go for someone whose soul radiates through their eyes in the best way.

Don’t go for someone because of what they can give you. Go for someone who includes you and builds with you.

Don’t go for someone who says or does all the right things. Go for someone who will tell you hard truths with gentleness and kindness. Truths all the same. Go for someone who is attentive and considerate, and who takes the time to learn you and your heart.

Go for someone who has the gumption to keep going when all is lost. Someone who will lift you up and hold your hand when you need support and guidance.

Go for someone who will encourage you and help you see things from another angle. Someone who will care for you when you’re sick. Someone who will help you hold it all together when you have to plan a funeral and don’t even have the strength to tie your shoelaces. Find someone who will tie your shoelaces if one day you can’t, or if you need help learning how to all over again. Find someone who will look at you at your worst and still admire you with adoring eyes. Go for someone who will sit with you in silence when your soul is screaming.

You won’t find someone if you’re closed off and falling prey to narratives. And you won’t find them sitting at a table where you’re expected to bring offerings worthy of an exchange.

There’s nothing to be found at that table. Stop begging for a seat where nothing feeds your soul.

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This post may reflect personal experiences, opinions, and/or creative expressions. It is intended for general reflection and inspiration only and should not be construed as professional advice. Please review the Site Policies for more information.