Chasing Light in the Storm
I had a dream I had been out for a walk on a lovely bright day late in the Summer.
It was starting to get dark out, and a storm was brewing. A big storm. The clouds were black and heavy, rolling in fast. The aroma of metal and earth clung heavily in the air. I couldn’t see the lightning or hear the thunder, but I knew the lightning and thunder were coming any moment now, and it was going to be a massive storm. I could feel and see the ferocity of the wind. I started to feel scared. I was outside walking and still a good distance away from home, and knew if I could just get inside, I’d be okay. I started to move quicker, and then I started to run; I didn’t feel safe. I could hear a friend’s voice in the background to the right of me, but it was distant and imagined, although I could hear it clearly. This particular friend isn’t really a friend in my waking life; she is someone who has betrayed my confidence and doesn’t hold me in high regard. I could hear her and see her in my mind’s eye. She was in her house or my apartment in the kitchen speaking. She was preparing food or setting the table, and I thought if I could just follow her voice and get inside, I’d be okay. The clouds started to move faster, churning furiously, engulfing the sky with a ravenous hunger. The feeling was ominous and dark. But I could see to my left the sea and the most beautiful pink sunset. The black clouds started to choke out what was left of it. I was following her voice, but I was transfixed by the sunshine and the beautiful sky that still peeked through the encroaching black clouds. I kept my eyes on the sunset, peeking occasionally toward the clouds to my right that were threatening doom and gloom. I thought I had been following the voice, but I had been following the light and followed it right into the sea. I walked in transfixed. The water was freezing, and it snapped me out of my daze, and I realized I had followed the light instead of heading indoors to safety. I was scared and time ran out. The clouds choked out what was left of the sunshine, and I stood there cold and frightened, but captivated by what was left of the beautiful light. As the clouds touched the sun and swallowed what was left of the lovely, rosy hue, the sun burst and exploded into a blinding light. I levitated slightly off the ground and out of the water, and as the light burst, I felt a powerful rush of wind all around me and swallowed the light. All went dark for a moment, and then I woke up. I had all the sensations of the wind and the wet feet, and I woke up feeling bewildered, scared, and okay, all at the same time. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that dream.
Sometimes dreams for me are messages. Things that need further investigation. An alert from my subconscious. Freud thought dreams were a form of repressed wishes, fantasies that we explore in our sleep that we aren’t able to realize in our waking life. An enigma. Some secret or hidden imagery needing dissection and unraveling to explore our true desires. Jung’s view was that dreams are essentially a mechanism that helps bring the various aspects of our conscious and subconscious into union to have a conversation. A sort of binding web allowing the ego and the self to weave together and glean more information, to inform each other, ultimately helping the person come into a healthy overall wholeness through a process he termed individuation. At least that’s how I understand it. I’m not a scholar, and I’ve only just started reading a bit about this because it’s really interesting, but admittedly I’m not well-versed or knowledgeable enough to speak to this with any confidence or certainty. I agree with both to varying degrees, and I think dreams are so much more. The mind and spirit are such complex wonders. I also think there are different types of dreams, and they serve different functions or allow you to tap into or venture into other areas, and because I’m spiritual, I also believe that they can have a more esoteric and supernatural quality as well. Either way, our theories and scientific methods require further development before we can learn enough to know definitively either way. In my opinion, some things should remain a mystery; they aren’t meant to be fully understood, and I like that. It leaves room for a bit of magic and wonder; the abstract and intangible are so fascinating to me; however, I digress.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this dream. It’s been with me for days now. I’ve been through a lot. Scratch that; I’m still going through a lot. Who isn’t though? We all have a story. A burden to bear. Several burdens. Some of us are navigating a bleak environment, surrounded by monsters. Fighting our own inner demons. It’s so important that you keep your wits about you. Stay focused on yourself. Your goals, your dreams. Become your own light. Shine in the dark. Light your way so you can see and plan your next steps as you navigate the darkness. Our society leans towards choking out whatever is perceived as weak or different, even if it’s lovely and powerful. Misery loves company, thrives on it, it seems. But, it’s like a weed that chokes out a beautiful flower. That’s how I see a negative mindset. It’s like weeds. They will spread and thrive and choke out the other plants. A negative mindset is rife with weeds. Weeds of the mind.
Don’t allow anyone, no matter who it is, to choke out your light and your dreams. Follow your heart. Aspire to be someone that you are proud of. Someone kind and considerate and creative. Follow your ambitions, face your fears, and tune out the noise.
If you can’t see a way out or follow the light out, become your own light, and you might just be shining for someone else.
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