Gentle Strength

They didn’t just harm me, they gave me the script

Taught with a smirk and a venomous grip

Lessons in silence, in lies, in control

A masterclass carved into flesh and soul

They didn’t just burn me they passed me the flame

Said, “This is how power is earned” as they rendered me lame

I learned how to twist, how to tear, how to bind

How to make someone beg while you fracture their mind

They taught through example, so casual, so cruel

As if breaking my heart was a practical tool

How to mimic affection, pretend to be kind

While hollowing someone from body to mind

No one considers what pain truly implements

That the kindest of souls are the sharpest of students

I could use it. I could. And I’d win

But I'd lose myself if I let that begin.

So I don’t.

I choose restraint when vengeance would thrill

And hold back the storm with unshakable will

Because I know the damage that evil can do

What it rots, what it steals, what it turns you into

And I’d rather be wounded, unseen, or ignored

Than become the reflection of those I abhorred

I was thinking about strength today.

What does strength mean to you?

I think most people envision strength as a lack of emotion, a conquer and hustle type attitude. No fucks given. It’s not personal, it’s just business. What a crock of shit!

In my opinion, strength comes in various colors and shades. Strength can be quiet and delicate or roaring and raging. Just depends on the context, the subtext, and on the person. Strength isn’t a lack of emotion. I think the strongest people have the most depth, feel the most, are the most sensitive. It’s their self control and their willingness to show compassion and kindness, or to keep silent and unreactive, that speaks volumes of their strength.

Today I want to talk about gentle strength. The choice to be forgiving, tender, sweet, loving, compassionate and considerate after facing adversity. To me, this is one of the gentlest and the greatest of strengths. If you disagree, try being kind and open-minded after a severe slight inflicted by another unjustly. Most people can’t. They become jaded, bitter, angry, volatile, vengeful, or cynical. It’s so easy to become hardened and to close up and shelter your heart to protect it from others. It’s so easy to become selfish and apathetic. It’s easy to lash out. It takes an active, conscious determination to consider your reactions to another and be kind. To offer an act of service. To bring others up when you feel downtrodden.

The choice to be better and do better comes with a lot of thought. It comes with dedication and practice. It comes with reflection and introspection. It surrenders expectation and performs for the simple sake of wanting to do better and not cause harm. It comes with not reacting, staying calm and peaceful when tempted with reprisal. It is a reflection of a person’s ethical compass and their values. It is transformative and can become infectious and spread like gentle ripples in the water. Expanding and affecting all those it touches for the better.

Consider the words of Gandhi when he said:

 "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

And, Martin Luther King Jr. when he said:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

I think these words are incredibly powerful. Really think about that for a moment. The weak can never forgive. Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can. And therein lies the opportunity to transform and become a catalyst for change to impact others in the most lovely, beautiful way. The ugly things we go through teach us empathy, compassion, appreciation, and a desire to do no harm. It makes us protective of the innocent and the vulnerable. It makes us healers.

In my opinion, gentle strength is deeply intertwined with psychological resilience and emotional intelligence. It requires a profound level of self-awareness to recognize and acknowledge our own vulnerabilities without succumbing to them. By cultivating empathy and understanding, we develop the capacity to step outside ourselves and to perceive the world from different perspectives; allowing us to respond with compassion rather than judgment. This emotional intelligence allows us to navigate challenging situations with grace and integrity, channeling our inner strength to remain open-hearted and resilient in the face of adversity. It also involves embracing vulnerability as a source of power rather than weakness, allowing us to connect more deeply with ourselves and with others. Through introspection, we develop a greater sense of inner peace and authenticity, empowering us to embody gentleness and compassion in our interactions with the world. In a world defined by its struggles and conflicts, the concept of gentle strength serves as a beacon of hope and possibility. It reminds us that resilience does not stem from the hardness of our hearts or the fierceness of our actions, but from the depth of our compassion and the courage to remain open-hearted.

And let me clarify, gentleness is not submission. I’m not talking about turning the other cheek and becoming a sweet sacrificial lamb for the wolves. Boundaries are an important part of becoming strong and healthy. But, by choosing forgiveness over resentment, kindness over hostility, and empathy over indifference, we tap into a reservoir of inner strength that transcends the limitations of brute force or aggression. It is through the practice of gentle strength that we not only transform ourselves but also inspire others to embrace a more compassionate and harmonious way of being.

Whatever is afflicting you. I encourage you to pause and reflect. Consider what you’ve been through and the kind of person you wish had been there for you to protect you from what you’ve suffered. Then become that person for yourself and possibly even for someone else.

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This post may reflect personal experiences, opinions, and/or creative expressions. It is intended for general reflection and inspiration only and should not be construed as professional advice. Please review the Site Policies for more information.